What’s up Chicago literary creepers?!  Excited for the end of Movember?  Happy to shave off that hairy little caterpillar above your lip you call a mustache your girlfriend hates and your mother loves?  Sure, you did it for the cause.  You totally didn’t expect it to fill in, either.  You’re shaving it off tomorrow.  And then you cry inside because you secretly liked it but got rid of it because social norms oblige you to.  You’re pathetic.  You don’t deserve a mustache.

Wow.  Somebody’s in the middle of final drafts for their first semester of grad school. Let’s start over with something happy, with something bright and cheery, with.. sexist existentialism?

Saturday This weekend you can pour one out for your homie Hemingway, who once said, “There is nothing to writing.  All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”  Lovely.  On Saturday you can meet the debbie-downer of all writers’ grandson, Sean Hemingway.  He’ll be giving a talk in the writer’s childhood hometown of Oak Park.  While I don’t like to assume all relatives of famous people share their qualities (yes I do), Sean has a knack for words like his ol’ grandaddy Ernie did, and he’ll be talking about his recent edit of A Farewell to Arms.  Also: cocktails, because nobody should ever have to discuss Hemingway sober.  Saturday, December 1, 7pm.  $25, Hemingway Museum in Oak Park.  

Tuesday You know what isn’t a debbi-downer?  Cookies.  Cookies ruin nobody’s day.  Cookies don’t want you to bleed in front of a typewriter.  Nobody ever gave somebody a cookie and heard them say “what a jerk” when they took a delicious bite out of it.  Two Cookie Minimum is an adorable reading group that you should check out.  Watch Columbia College students, comic book enthusiasts, and publishers read their excellent writing.  I’m guessing there’ll be cookies.  I’m guessing at least two.  Tuesday, December 4th at the Hungry Brain 2319 W. Belmont at 9pm.

Have yourself a fine week, readers!